Tuesday, October 29, 2013

FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW, WE'RE DISHING UP DASTARDLY DELIGHTS FOR HALLOWEEN!

Vincent Price cooking

So what's on your menu for Halloween? Broiled bat? Wolfbane Stew? Seafood Lagoona?

This Wednesday, October 30th at the Orange Squirrel restaurant in Bloomfield, New Jersey patrons will once again be trick-or-treated to a special Halloween night menu consisting of entrees made from recipes out of Vincent (and his wife Mary) Price's cookbook!

Owner-chef Francesco Palmieri, a popular chef who has made appearances on such TV programs as The Today Show and a recent winner on the Food Network's cooking competition show, Cutthroat Kitchen is also a big Vincent Price fan. He decided to do something with a bit of a Translvanian twist last Halloween and it was such a success that here were are doing it all over again!

Francesco is encouraging fans to show up with their favorite Vincent Price memorabilia and remembrances and just like last year, he's enlisted little 'ol me to share my thoughts on the crown prince of horror. I'll be sharing some of the more interesting anecdotes about Price - not just the actor, but also the avid art collector, dog lover and gourmet chef (read more about Vincent's forays into cooking by clicking here).

FrancescoPalmieriVincentPrice
(Photo): Vincent Price, Francesco Palmieri holding a copy of the cookbook "A Treasury of Great Recipes" by Vincent and Mary Price.

As you know, I'm a longtime Vincent fan (and if you don't know, just click here to read one of my posts about the iconic actor). I've also written a chapter in a book of essays on Vincent published by Midnight Marquee Press and I'll be selling autographed copies of the book (as well as some copies of my Archie's Weird Mysteries book) at this event. Even better, I'll once again be pulling out my Vincent Price trivia questions - I'll reward Vincent Price DVDs to those lucky patrons who answer my trivia questions correctly.

Please click here for more information on the Halloween happening, and perhaps we'll see you there!

Now enjoy this clip of Vincent Price discussing fine cuisine with a panel of expert muppets... er, I mean chefs! Bone appetit!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

NEXT STOPS: POMPTON PLAINS AND BLOOMFIELD, NEW JERSEY!

 photo NJComicBookShows_zpsc8a2dd23.jpg

Hello, fans! Well, the New York city Comic Con was a blast and my fall tour of NJ/NY is rolling on…

In fact, I’ve added a stop to the tour, but I’ll get to that in a moment.

First, a reminder that this Sunday, October 27th, I’ll be making a special “Halloween homecoming” to the town in which I grew up, Pompton Plains, New Jersey at the NJ Comic Book Show. It all at the Regency Hotel on Route 23. I’ll be there all day, signing from 10:00 to 4:00. More details at the NJ Comic Book Shows website. And you can read some great coverage of the event from First Comic News and NewJersey.com

FrancescoPalmieriVincentPrice
(Photo): Vincent Price, Francesco Palmieri holding a copy of the cookbook "A Treasury of Great Recipes" by Vincent and Mary Price.

One Wednesday, October 30th I’ll be returning to the Orange Squirrel restaurant for the 2nd Annual Vincent Price Halloween Dinner. You may recall that I gave a talk on Vincent at last year’s dinner (and if you don’t recall, just click here to refresh your memory). I’m thrilled to be coming back for more fun. Check out the pertinent details by clicking here.

At both of the above events, I’ll have copies of my Archie’s Weird Mysteries collection and Midnight Marquee Actor’s Series: Vincent Price available for sale. Stop on by if you can – I promise no tricks; only treats!

Now… let’s all jitterbug!


Thursday, October 10, 2013

NEW YORK COMIC CON 2013 IS HERE!

 photo NYCC2013_zpsee41f335.jpg

Hello fans... well, New York Comic Con is finally here and I'm hoping I can meet some of you. Here's a rundown on where I'll be and when.

Thursday, October 10th, 2:30-3:30 – I’ll be on the CREATIVELY ENERGIZING YOUR STUDENTS WITH COMIC BOOKS AND THE ARTS panel, held in Room 1A17.

Friday, October 11th, 2:00-3:00 – I’ll be doing an autograph signing at the ARCHIE COMICS booth. I'll most likely be signing either BEST OF ARCHIE COMICS BOOK 3 (which reprints my popular Scooby Doo spoof story from the ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES series) or the ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES paperback collection. Or perhaps something else... it all depends upon what the Archie Co. brings.

In those times surrounding my ARCHIE signing, I'll be helping out at the KIDS COMIC CON booth in the FAMILY ROOM which is in Conference Rooms 1B01-1B03. I won't officially be signing in the FAMILY ROOM on Friday but if you run in there with a book in hand for me to sign, I will (just try to bring a pen in case I forget mine).

Saturday, October 13th, all day – DON’T LOOK FOR ME – I’ll be elsewhere, recharging my batteries like Tony Stark. ;)

Sunday, October 14th, 12:30-1:30 – I’ll be signing at the KIDS COMIC CON table in the FAMILY ROOM area of the convention. For Sunday, I'll definitely have copies of the ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES paperback collection, some SONIC THE HEDGEHOG collections, and the books WITH GREAT POWER and HEY KIDS, COMICS (click here for info on those last two books).

Again, the Family Room is Conference Rooms 1B01-1B03. And again, I'll be helping out in that room for pretty much the entire day Sunday, so if you miss my official signing you may still be able pop in randomly and grab me to autograph something.

Looking forward to a comically-cool-and-crazy weekend!

Now here's me talking about... what else?... comic books! ENJOY!



Thursday, October 3, 2013

PART TWO: NOW THAT WE KNOW WHAT PAUL CASTIGLIA IS DOING, JUST WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?

 photo KCCNYCC2013_zpsded0b2b5.jpg

Hello again, fans! If you were here last week, you read about the various projects I’ve been busy with the greater part of this year (and if you weren’t here last week, well just click here to catch up).

As I mentioned, I’m about to embark on another New York/New Jersey tour to promote my various projects, and as promised, here are the details of where I’ll be and when.

 photo NYCC2013_zpsee41f335.jpg

It all starts next weekend at New York Comic Con. I’ll be appearing in two different spots at the convention. On Friday, October 11th I’ll be at the Archie Comics booth from 2:00 to 3:00. I’ll be signing alongside the great artist Fernando Ruiz, my collaborator on ARCHIE’S WEIRD MYSTERIES. Then on Sunday, I’ll be signing at the Kids Comic Con (aka KCC - that's Captain KCC at the top of this post) table in the Family Room section of the New York Comic Con. I’ll have some of my Archie work with me as well as copies of WITH GREAT POWER and HEY KIDS, COMICS (again, I refer you to last week’s post for details on those projects). I'll be signing at the KCC booth that day from 12:30 to 1:30. Visit the New York Comic Con website for more details.

 photo NJComicBookShows_zpsc8a2dd23.jpg

On Sunday, October 27th, I’m making a special “homecoming” to the town in which I grew up, Pompton Plains, New Jersey. This comes courtesy of John Paul, who has been running the NJ Comic Book Shows for over two decades. These shows are always a trip down memory lane, with several dealers of vintage comics and toys and always a great guest-list. Very family-friendly event and always a wonderful time. This particular show takes place at the Regency Hotel on Route 23. I’ll be there all day, signing from 10:00 to 4:00. More details at the NJ Comic Book Shows website.

 photo JerseyShoreComicShow_zpsc28d1a90.jpg

On Sunday, November 3rd I’ll be appearing for the first time at the Jersey Shore Comic Book Show in Forked River, New Jersey. The show will be held at the Community Center in Forked River from 10am to 4pm. I’ll have the full array of my work with me – everything from my Archie work to DC Comics to my Vincent Price book. There will be several dealers with tons of comic books for sale, as well as non-sport cards and comic collectibles and toys, plus door prizes, an auction and more. More details can be found at the Jersey Shore Comic Con website.

SuperheroesForHospiceflyinglogo

Saturday, November 9th brings another Superheroes For Hospice charity comic book sale, from 10 to 6. I’ve been involved with this event since its inception in 2009. A few times a year, the organization holds charity comic sales to raise money for the Barnabas Health Hospice and Palliative Care Center by selling comics, books, toys and related items. Proceeds have helped assist individuals and families dealing with life-limiting illnesses. The event has attracted top industry talent who often appear to sign autographs and give entertaining lectures about the art form. I’ll be signing an array of my work per usual. The event takes place at 95 Old Short Hills Rd., West Orange, NJ 07052, across the street from Saint Barnabas Medical Center.

 photo albanycomiccon_zps6843313c.jpg

Another first for me will be the Albany Comic Con. Taking place on Sunday, November 10th. Like the NJ Comic Book Shows and Jersey Shore Comic Cons, the Albany Con offers a plethora of comics creators, comic and toy dealers, auctions and more. Also like those other shows, it offers an intimacy and immediacy not always found at the larger shows. I’m looking forward to making it the last stop on my Fall tour. I hope you stop by and see me! For more information visit the Albany Comic Con website.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

JUST WHAT IS PAUL CASTIGLIA DOING, AND WHERE DOES HE THINK HE’S GOING?!... PART ONE

 photo Paulcaricature.jpg

Hello, fans! As you’ve often heard me lament, my schedule can be off-the-hook sometimes, and it’s definitely been that way in 2013. It starts with a very demanding day job, and then there’s the side projects which keep me more-than-busy. With Scared Silly still strictly a hobby project (subliminal message to publishers: anyone want to pay me and advance to help move Scared Silly higher up the priority list?) it is the one thing I can only work on in dribs and drabs. As always, I thank you all for your patience.

In fact, I figure I can do more than thank you. I can detail the various projects I’ve been working on lately so you have an idea of what’s been keeping me busy. Hey, it’s the least I can do. Maybe you’ll even want to track down some copies of your own (just click on the titles of each book mentioned below to place your order).

Also, I’m about to embark on a Fall tour of New York and New Jersey again. So details about those personal appearances will follow in Part Two of this post, which I’ll post sometime next week.

Now, let’s begin with “just what Paul Castiglia has been doing in 2013”…

 photo WithGreatPower_zps18da4e65.jpg

The year kicked off with this project, With Great Power edited by Rick Phillips. The premise of the book is that the same exact copy of Amazing Fantasy #15 (the famed comic book issue that introduced Spider-Man to the world) gets passed on from owner to owner (think in terms of the same dollar bill trading hands and you’ll get the idea). Each owner has a different story, a different tale of what happens in their life when they possess the comic. These tales were written by all different authors, and I had the privilege to provide the final story which wraps it all up, appropriately titled, “Full Circle.” Proceeds of the book benefited missions work. Read reviews here.

 photo ArchieampFriends27_zps7198cc01.jpg

Archie & Friends Double Digest #27 followed in April. It reprinted a story I co-wrote with my wife Barbara Jarvie, originally appearing in the non-digest Archie & Friends #85. You can read a sneak peek of the first two pages at Brigid Alverson’s excellent “Good Comics for Kids” blog – just click here.

 photo BestofArchieComicsBook3_zps061357dc.jpg

A few months later, The Best of Archie Comics Book 3 was released. It reprints one of the most popular stories from my Archie’s Weird Mysteries comic series, wherein I lampooned the Scooby Doo gang from tail to snout. Additionally, the book contains new commentaries from me on a couple of classic Golden Age Archie tales. You can read a review of the tale by clicking here.

 photo HeyKidsComics_zpscd225826.jpg

Recently released, I am very proud to be a part of the new book Hey Kids, Comics edited by Robert J. Kelly. The book features essays from people who all share one thing in common: they all love to collect and read comic books! Several industry professionals contributed as well as some non-pros. The love of the medium shines through the book and is infectious – everyone did a terrific job. My tale covered growing up in the 1970s where it was nigh-impossible not to become a superhero kid. You can read a review of the book here.

 photo Nistar_zps53b9dead.jpg

The just-released Nistar is an important and wonderful graphic novel on which I had the opportunity to help out behind-the-scenes. My specific contribution is not as important as the book itself, which was created to help inspire and empower children facing cancer. Written by Shira Frimer, a widow who lost her husband to a rare pediatric cancer, the tale is one that will stay with you long after you read it. The art is by famous Marvel and DC artist Josef Rubinstein. I urge you to order the book because your purchase goes to a good cause. You can listen to an interview I conducted with Shira for the Kids Comic Con podcast here (Part 1) and here (Part 2).

 photo FelixPaintings_zps222529a5.jpg

Coming in December is this wonderful book of Felix the Cat Paintings by Don Oriolo. I had the honor of being one of the historians invited to provide an introduction for the book. The book was designed by Yoe Books and is being released by IDW. There’s wondrous art to behold on each page… as Felix would say, “Righty-O!”

 photo ZoesZombies_02_LasyPanel_zps481987fc.jpg

My friend Erica Schultz asked me to contribute to an upcoming anthology she’s co-editing called #PosCom (short for “Positive Comics”). The special collection will feature a variety of “anti-bullying” comics tales from famed comics professionals in every spectrum – from mainstream comics to independents. I had an opportunity to re-team with one of my favorite artists, Chris Allan who drew several of the Little Archie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Sonic the Hedgehog comic scripts I wrote. I also snuck in a little horror-comedy aspect, as you’ll note from the above sneak-peek panel. Not to mention the fact that the great comedic character actor Eddie Deezen gave me permission to depict him as a high school principal in the tale. Proceeds from sales will go toward charities with anti-bullying initiatives.

That’s all I can tell you for now – there are another half dozen or so projects either green-lit or pending that I don’t have legal clearance to mention yet – but as soon as I do you’ll be sure to hear about them here.

 photo KING_Cover.jpg

Additionally I have open invites from my friends Thomas Hall and Daniel Bradford to write back-up stories for their KING! character as well as from Rusty Gilligan, who’d love to have me pen a graphic novel featuring his time-traveling cats, Mac & Trouble! Hoping to get to those projects at some point.

Last but not least, I’ll have some news to deliver soon on the music front, and perhaps even an announcement about me writing a new series about a certain classic horror-comedy character. Stay “tooned,” and be sure to look for Part Two of this post next week, wherein I detail my Fall New York/New Jersey personal appearance tour!

 photo MacampTrouble_zps7c09aaec.jpg


Monday, August 12, 2013

THAT'S THE SPIRIT (1933)

 photo
VitaphonePresents_zpsad27bf98.jpg

RATING: ** out of ****

PLOT: Mantan (Mantan Moreland) arrives at the Acme Pawn Shop for his new job as night watchman. Tagging along is Steve (F.E. Flourney Miller) a friend to whom Mantan owes money. As the duo enter the dark shop, strange things begin to happen – namely disembodied voices are heard, fur coats come to life, washboards levitate and the arms of the rocking chair clutch whoever’s sitting in it! Craziest of all, a variety of miniature musical acts in a small diorama come to life and play one zany number after another!

REVIEW: This one reel short, running a brief ten minutes contains maybe four minutes of actual horror-comedy content. Normally, this would not be enough for me to grant a full-blown review but would instead place it in the “horror-onable mention” category.

However this short also has some historical significance. Not only does it provide a filmed record of some of the most exciting and influential African-American musical performers, it is also the screen debut of legendary comedic actor Mantan Moreland. Furthermore, being a “horror-comedy” it is a rather fitting debut, as Mantan would spend a great portion of the rest of his career acting “scared silly.” Last but not least, it teams Moreland with F.E. (“Flourney”) Miller, and the pair would continue to team afterward in a trio of other horror-comedy films. Both Moreland and Miller are important figures in the history of African-American entertainment.

Before we get to the history lesson, however, let’s talk about this short. Most of what you need to know about the film is already mentioned in the plot description above. Miller and Moreland move through their paces with ease and sell the gags just fine, but even by 1933 haunted house and scare bits in comedies had become so venerable that they needed just a little more oomph to truly score. The problem here is two-fold: the “spooky” motifs were used merely as fun pauses between musical sequences (it follows a pretty stringent pattern : a musical number followed by a scare scene with the comedians, then back to another musical number); and Miller and Moreland are winking at the audience – there’s no through-line narrative and at one point the pair even act uncharacteristically NOT frightened and start making requests of the band!

Adding to the short’s ineffectiveness is the fact that, with the exception of a few “scary notes” of music underlining the opening titles, none of the musical numbers have a spooky bent. They are all great, energetic pieces of music but nothing about the tunes – nor the outfits of the performers delivering them – indicates “horror comedy.”  Had they opted for a Halloween theme with costumes and goofy music that echoed horror notes with say, skeletal arpeggios via xylophone (the way so many great black and white Disney, Flesicher, Iwerks and Van Beuren cartoons of the 1930s did) the proper effect would have been achieved.

Despite its shortcomings, there is a certain amount of delight to be had in watching Moreland debut on the screen and match wits with Miller; as is there toe-tapping fun aplenty in the knockout performances of the musicians.

 photo
Flourney_zps42456f37.jpg
F.E. Flourney Miller

It’s actually music that provides the behind-the-scenes “glue” for this production: Miller wasn’t just a comedic actor with vaudeville roots; he was also a playwright and songwriter. He made huge contributions to African-America theater and in fact became part of a creative cadre in the field: his frequent collaborators were bandleader/musician/songwriters Noble Sissle (like Miller, also a playwright) and the legendary Eubie Blake. After the Broadway smash, Eubie Miller was even posthumously Tony nominated for his contributions to theater!

The connection in That’s the Spirit is that the musical numbers are headlined by Miller’s collaborator Sissle and his band. In essence, the Sissle band acts as emcees, introducing singer/tap dancer Cora La Redd (a fixture at Harlem night clubs in the 1920s and ‘30s) and the Washboard Serenaders (one of the superstar groups to come out of the washboard jazz craze). The music in That’s the Spirit is lively, driving, fun and above all joyous. Or to combine all those adjectives into one, exuberant! 

Back to Mantan: this is his debut. He’s funny, but not hysterical yet. This no doubt can be attributed to the fact that he was coming from the stage burdened with a set of expectations that forced him into a broad archetype (nee stereotype) mold. Mantan simply hasn’t found his character yet in That’s the Spirit – his subtle nuances that audiences would come to embrace aren’t evident yet. It wouldn’t be too long before Mantan broke the mold though. Within a few short years he’d refine his character – wisecracking, sometimes scared yet often the smartest person in the room!

Inevitably, Mantan would become the standard against which all other African-American film comedians were measured (Eddie “Rochester” Anderson, Willie Best, Stepin Fetchit and the sublime Dudley Dickerson being chief among them), particularly when it came to being “scared.” The differences and similarities really come down to the degrees of intelligence displayed by the characters.

Once Mantan hit his groove, his character was special indeed. Imbued with an almost supernatural ability to predict trouble before it hit, he was often the one warning people to beat feet (and beating feet regardless of whether those he advised listened or not). He paired this with very smart and witty asides as well as the well-placed wise-crack to the delight of both first-run movie audiences and the generations who discovered him in the years that followed his career.

What’s perhaps most amazing of all is that Mantan maintained this special character not just in comedy films but also when he appeared in a bona fide horror or mystery film. He turns up in horror-comedy classics including Mexican Spitfire Sees a Ghost and the all-black horror-comedies Mr. Washington Goes to Town, Lucky Ghost and Professor Creeps (all of which he co-headlines with Miller); the pseudo-horror-comedies A-Haunting We Will Go (with Laurel & Hardy) and Cracked Nuts (with Shemp Howard, Una Merkel and William Frawley) legitimate horror films such as King of the Zombies and its sequel Revenge of the Zombies, and the hard-to-categorize oddity, The Strange Case of Dr. Rx (co-starring with Shemp once again in a film that actually involves them in a straight car chase scene – one chasing the other!). 

 photo
mantan-500_zps81e9e549.jpg
Mantan Moreland

Most notably, of course Mantan had the recurring role of Birmingham Brown, Charlie Chan’s chauffeur in several entries of the Hawaiian detective’s movie series (including some with horror overtones including The Scarlet Clue, The Jade Mask and Black Magic aka Meeting at Midnight). This is the role for which Moreland is both best remembered and most beloved.  It is the crystallization of his comedy character, and while one could argue that Moreland often played the exact same character by other names in other films, the context presented by the Chan stories makes his role transcendent. In other films, Moreland was often a reactionary character – responding to the events surrounding him. In the Chan films he was often as much the catalyst behind the mayhem.  More importantly, he was key in moving those films along in an entertaining fashion… his lively antics keeping audience members interested in-between the by-the-books sleuthing and procedurals.

Mantan also has the distinction of appearing in the film that marks the divide between the “traditional” horror-comedy and what it would morph into in the modern age. Spider Baby (filmed in 1964 but released in ’68) is “black comedy” of a different sort than those Moreland starred in with Miller. Dark, edgy and disturbing, it pretty much wastes Mantan, both figuratively and literally – onscreen only briefly as courier, he is brutally dispatched early in the film, with no bits of comedy business to perform.

All tolled, That’s The Spirit is not one of the must-see entries for the die-hard horror-comedy fan. However, if you love Mantan Moreland or the kind of exquisitely fast, frenetic and fun Dixieland-inspired jump and jive music featured here, you’re likely to be entertained. In fact, based on that criteria, you can add half a star to my star rating.

BEST DIALOGUE:

MANTAN: I wonder what time it is?
DEEP, DISEMBODIED VOICE: 2 O’Clock!

STEVE: Say, you don’t believe in ghosts, do you?
MANTAN: I don’t doubt ‘em!

BEST VISUAL GAGS:

All the aforementioned gags work well here. While the fur coats coming to life and the washboard levitation is fun, the best inanimate object gag has to be the chair that Steve sits in. First his right hand rises independently while the sound of a creaking rocking chair plays, then his left hand rises. Then the arms of the rocking chair grab him around the waist!

The film also ends with a fun visual gag. Steve and Mantan finally decide they’ve had enough and run off – but when Mantan goes to run, he can’t move!  He slips out of his shoes which seem locked in place and bolts off.  His shoes then shuffle after him, the right and left each with its own voice declaring “waitaminnit, don’t leave us here!”

BEST COMBINATION VERBAL/VISUAL GAGS:

Steve has hand on Mantan’s shoulder while Mantan’s back is turned.

“Please tell me that’s you with your hand on my shoulder,” Mantan implores.

FURTHER READING: I make the following recommendation with a caveat, as some film historian friends have suggested to me that in addition to the facts, this book also contains an item or two of conjecture not necessarily supported by facts. Still, as the only book based exclusively on Moreland, you will find much of interest regarding the development of Mantan’s career and an excellent survey of his films. The book is Mantan the Funny Man by Michael H. Price which you can order directly from its publisher, Midnight Marquee Press when you click here.

Also worth a read is a blog post by Paghat the Ratgirl that focuses on the wonderful music in this short.  You can read it by clicking here.

Last but not least, the film is registered with the Library of Congress – you can see the details when you click here.

Monday, August 5, 2013

TAKING FRANKENSTEIN’S SCALPEL TO SCARED SILLY

 photo
YoungFrankensteinphilosopher_zps8108db8d.jpg

Hello fans. Today I come to you to reveal that I've reached an impasse. After taking some wise counsel (specifically from my wife) into account, I must be honest and face the facts:

Many of my most recent Scared Silly reviews have just been too long, and not properly edited. Through some misguided notion I conceived that readers would want as much detail as possible, coupled with a hyper-focus brought on by ADHD tendencies, we've arrived at this place.

This has been an issue on several levels. Since I can only work on Scared Silly in my spare time (there is no publisher paying me to write this – the payment will come on the back end, after the final manuscript is delivered to whichever publisher decides to publish it) – in-between a day job with ever-increasing demands of my time as well as outside projects – writing long reviews is just counterproductive.

Take my previous review, of The Three Stooges in Orbit. It didn't take me weeks to put that together; it took months. The end result is a rather unwieldy concoction where I give way too many details on too many gags and too much plot minutia.

I've written a few reviews like the one above. Not only do they take way too long to write for someone who doesn't have the luxury of a lot of time to work on the project to start with, but in a way they also take away some of the fun for folks who may want to watch the films. A good review captures enough of the flavor to enable someone to decide whether they want to watch a movie or not. It doesn't give away every detail.

 photo 1948_AbbotCostello_img10_zps0dc661f8.jpg

Needless to say, I’ll have to go back and rewrite some of my lengthier reviews once I (hopefully) land a publisher. And I’ll have to return to the more balanced reviews I wrote earlier on, such as Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein and Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla.

Hoping to get more reviews up here soon. I have some shorts lined up and if all goes well perhaps there won’t be as many tumbleweeds rolling through here the rest of this year…

Now, apropos of nothing… or maybe apropos of everything (if you equate film editing to book editing that is), here’s Olsen & Johnson: (with an assist from a couple of our other favorite funnymen, Shemp Howard and Hugh Herbert):